CuppaGemma

From the front lines of mothering,

“Mom, question.”

My twelve year old, Thomas prefaces his queries this way. He is a logical and practical thinker who prefers to get right to the point with all matters. Especially important ones. I need to do this, where can I find that and what if I were to…I can take this apart right?

I turned away from the computer, “Yes?”

“I can’t find my conviction. Where is my conviction?”

I pushed my chair back and turned 90 degrees. He is a spunky and determined kid. Proud to ride his bike for miles, do small repairs around the house, ring lead with his buddies to go fishing. He knows he wants to work with his hands. He has a strong conversational style and is relentlessly creative.

My puzzled look confused him so he repeated the question.

“My conviction, where is it? I can’t find it!”

“How can you lose your conviction?”

“I don’t know. I lost it, where is it, have you seen it? I need it.”

“Seen it, how can I see your conviction?”

“The can Mom, the can of conviction?”

“You have a can of conviction?”

“Of course I have a can of conviction, it’s the best kind you can get, where is it?”

“How do you get a can of conviction?”

“Mom, you buy it at Duane Reade.”

“Conviction? You buy conviction at the drugstore?”

“Well they don’t sell it at the butcher. Where is it?”

“How do you buy conviction, it’s not a thing, do you know what conviction means?”

At this point my younger son Ryan, age nine pipes in, “It means the judge puts you in jail?”

“Ok guys, conviction do you know what the word means?”

“Getting in trouble?”

“No, conviction is when you believe in something so strongly, it can’t be changed.”

“Fine, whatever. But mom I lost my only can of conviction spray. Where is that?”

Ah, so conviction is now a scent to be marketed and worn by young men. I had cringing memories of the smell of Drakkar cologne and high school boys. Fleeting shivers of fear as thoughts of acqua net hair spray and disco music montages skimmed past my eyes. This too shall pass. Quickly, I hope. And mom is more of a “noob” than she supposed.

“Thomas I have no idea, where did you last use it?”

“If I remembered that, I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“Exactly why do you need to use conviction?”

“It makes me smell the best I can get.”

“And the reason why you need to smell the best you can get would be?”

“Conviction mom, it’s my conviction. I gotta find it.”