CuppaGemma

The neat thing about being a parent is the experience of raising children.

It is a role that teaches you responsibility. What’s the example you choose to set, and how do you help them to deal with the rolls and bumbles that come along? What do you make sure to keep them insulated from, and what do you expose them to?

The process that started with advice being given to a newly expectant mum continues as they tie their own shoes and try to make empassionate pitches for texting plans, later curfews or tap dance around uncompleted homework assignments.

Mom is term that once conferred means you have to in someway be always interruptable. It teaches you how to jigger a myriad of things at once, repeatedly, alternating speeds and show them that respect is mutally earned by having honest conversations back and forth.

Kids have voices and ideas. They want on some level to be both big and small. The boys were out in the yard over the weekend grilling ribs- as “the guys only” but went through the whole bag of marshmallows on skewer sticks when I suggested them. The frozen Mountain Dew ice pops were their own idea.

The relentless creativity coupled with their ongoing energy is what can make raising children why this mom at least makes sure that a large cup of coffee is a regular staple with which to start the day. It also has made me realize that you can work hard and go on and on to get things done.

On the most basic level being a mother means you have to show through your actions and your choices that “I believe in you” tempered with- “You need to think about what will happen if you do that…” So as a parent you sit in the evening with the boys and their friends and hear everybody’s stories. At the least you let them know that you are interested to know them and look at them as real people not large creatures full of mud with bottomless stomachs.

You talk with them about things. What’s happening in the news. Who’s got a new girlfriend? How can the dirtbike be re-outfitted?

The talking is what keeps and builds the relationship. They all get too big for “Because I said so” or fear based threats to demonstrate control. You need a way to reach out, connect and negotiate. As a mom you learn how to be collaborative and keep cooking more cutlets.